I was the girl in high school who liked boys who never liked her back. Didn't have a boyfriend until college and when all of my girlfriends were engaged and getting married right out of college, I wanted to travel the world. I'm a romantic at heart but never truly felt pursued by anyone. If anything, I felt like there were many guys who led my heart on, left me wondering if they truly had feelings for me or didn't know how to lead in a relationship. Ever since I was little, I remember desiring to be married and have a home full of little ones but I started to doubt if that desire would ever become a reality.
All of my girlfriends were telling me to "wait it out", that the Lord had someone for me and that I was worth waiting for. While their words were encouraging, and deep down I knew that they were true, my heart was overwhelmed with the fear that I might not ever meet someone. At the same time that my heart was feeling doubtful, Jesus was pursing my heart in a big way. I could feel His presence when my heart felt lonely, He taught me about keeping my eyes open to the blessings that He had given me, every love song I heard reminded me of my heavenly Father's love, I poured my time into discipling other girls, I learned so much about my identity in Christ and all the while, He warned me not to settle.
In high school I remember journaling about the qualities that I desired my future husband to have. Here are a few that I remember:
- Follow Christ with abandon
- Pursue me with respect and purity
- Take the lead spiritually and encourage my faith
- Desires a family one day
- A heart for adventures
- Desires to share his faith with others
- And dashingly handsome of course
A few years out of college, I got involved in a local church and was surrounded by a great group of friends. It was a large group and we were doing life and ministry alongside each other. I don't remember the day that I met Drew McClanahan and ironically neither does he. The day I do remember is the day I was moving into a new apartment. Drew offered to help me move and borrowed his brother's truck to do so. He drove across town to my parents house and help pick up some odds and ends. After that day I kept noticing his servant's heart, the way he would help others out without expecting anything from them in return. He then started offering to fix things around the apartment for me, offered to drive me to church and suggested fun things for our group to do together (they always ended up being activities that I loved doing).
I love that our friendship grew slowly and naturally for a few months without pressure or expectations. Drew also knew after getting to know me that even though I desired a relationship with someone, that I was a little fearful of commitment because I had been independent for quite awhile. And then one day, he asked to meet me for dinner before going to an event. I was so oblivious and invited a mutual friend to join us. The next time he asked, he made sure that we were alone and I remember everything about that little dinner date being natural and easy. From that point on we were stuck like glue and I absolutely loved spending time with him. My dad always wanted the guys in my life to ask permission to date me and Drew happily met his demands. We spent time with each other's families, went on adventures, learned about each other's hearts and I had never felt more pursued or understood before. Drew also waited to kiss me for a few months and even though I often questioned why, he wanted our first kiss to be special. He planned a trip to the mountains and kissed me at the base of my favorite waterfall. Fireworks y'all.
When we had been dating for about three months, an opportunity for me to teach English in China presented itself. I was so confused because I loved our relationship but I had always wanted to teach English overseas. It felt like the Lord was asking me to take a leap of faith and trust that if the He desired our relationship to continue, that He would allow us to grow closer together in our six months apart from each other. When I told Drew about the opportunity, his reponse was very clear: that he was confident with where we stood in our relationship and wanted me to pursue this adventure. His support meant the world to me and I was so thankful that he understood my heart. Just a few weeks after I was in China, I realized that I was in love with him and asked the Lord to let me know by the time I left China, if Drew was the man He wanted me to marry. For the next six months, we wrote each other letters every few weeks and we creatively planned Skype dates like watching the same movie together, fixing a meal and eating together, playing games; we even carved pumpkins. Drew often sacrificed his mornings and work up early so that we could talk after I had finished my work day (we had a crazy 12 hour time difference between us).
When my time in China was almost finished, Drew and I talked and he expressed that he wanted to come to China, just so that he could have a taste of my experience there. We had waited to say I love you to each other until we saw each other in person. When I picked him up at the airport I ran into his arms and beat him to it. I love that he wanted to be able to relate to me in this way and for ten days we explored several cities together. It was a freezing cold trip but we couldn't have been happier to spend time with each other. On the last day we were in China, we had a conversation where we discussed the mutual desire to want marry each other. I was floored as I realized that the Lord had answered my prayer and confirmed that this was the man who He wanted me to marry, on the very last day I was in the country of China. Glory.
We flew home to America on Valentines Day and were so excited about what the Lord had in store for us. A few weeks later, Drew started displaying some odd symptoms of fatigue, weakness, weight loss, paleness and went to a doctor to check it out. After seeing several specialists, Drew was diagnosed with severe isolated anemia, or low iron in your blood. It was a scary time as Drew's levels continued to drop even as his doctors were treating him to the best of their ability. They assumed that he was leaking blood somewhere in his body but couldn't find any evidence. After getting two blood transfusions, his iron levels slightly increased but the doctors still never understood why the levels had drop in the first place. As Drew was dealing with his anemia, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It was a scary time but our love grew stronger and our faith as a couple was strengthened as we put our trust in the Lord that Drew and I would be healed.
While I was away in China, Drew and I had made a bucket list of dates that we both wanted to go on with each other once I returned. One July evening, Drew wanted to check one of our dates off the list. He took me to dinner in downtown Atlanta at
Mary Mac's Tea Room, a delicious southern restaurant. Our next stop was a visit to the
Georgia Aquarium. Drew had never been before and we had a great time viewing creatures under the sea. On our way back, it started to rain and I noticed that Drew was getting a bit antsy. I suggested that we stop by our field before he dropped me off. We had found this little field, near my parents house, on the property of an old baptist church. We often went there to dream, talk and pray about our future. As we pulled onto the road to our field, not a drop of rain had fallen. I grabbed my camera and wanted to take some pictures together. When I turned around, Drew was on his knee and asked me to be his "Mrs. McClanahan". We then celebrated by taking some precious pictures together. We wandered through the field and Drew led me to a picnic that his family had set up for us. He had purchased a unity candle and had written me the last letter I would receive as a single woman. Lots of happy tears rolled down my cheeks and later that evening, we pulled up to my parents house, where Drew had arranged my closest friends and family to surprise us at the door.
Three and a half months later, on November 12th, 2011, we stood before our friends and family and committed our marriage to the Lord and to each other. I love that our pastor taught us that day about covenant love. Covenant love is constant, sealed by the Lord's grace and because we were choosing to partner with the Lord in our marriage, it was guaranteed to be a refining and redeeming journey. Drew surprised me before our first look with a leather bound journal. He had been writing to me since before I left for China, all the while knowing that one day we would be husband and wife. I just love his romantic heart!
The summer before our first wedding anniversary, the Lord began stirring both of our hearts with the question of whether we were willing to leave our home in America and serve Him overseas. We were surprised by His timing, but we knew that He knew better than we did. We started praying over countries and people groups and He shocked us with an opportunity to serve Him in China. We took action and started the process of raising up our support team and He provided each step along the way. After a year of raising support we hopped on a plane and arrived to serve a beautiful group of minority girls. This past year in China stretched us in every possible way but looking back on it, the Lord was always there. Grace sums up our time living overseas in a remote village with little community, a difficult language and unexpected circumstances. It is by His grace that Drew and I's marriage is stronger and not strained. It is by His grace that we remained healthy and strong. It is by His grace that we were given the opportunity to love on those young women. It is by His grace that we are now trusting in what the future holds for us.
This November, we will celebrate our three year anniversary and as I write down our love story, I am amazed by how much life we have experienced in this short amount of time. I am so thankful for you Drew...for the Lord providing exactly the man He knew that I would need to walk by my side. I'm so happy that I get to do life with you and I'm so blessed to be your wife.Three years ago on July 22nd, you placed a ring on my finger in a field in Georgia. Little did I know what adventures we would have and I can't wait to be adventurers together for the rest of our days. I love you same!
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